By Darshan Mondkar
To Whomsoever It May Concern:
It is being notified that the following changes have to take place, with immediate effect.
– All focus on Pakistan needs to be diverted to Bangladesh infiltrators, immigrants and refugees
– Hindus in West Bengal are in danger and should be rescued
– Muslims in Bengal need to frequently asked “What About Malda?”
– All flyovers that ever fell down in Bengal need to be accounted for
– Economy of West Bengal is down in dumps and so is security
– Efforts need to be made to find Love Jihad cases in Bengal
– Any Muslim boys in Bengal4 offering rosogullas or sondesh to Hindu girls need to be gheraoed and detained under suspicion.
– Fresh hashtags for #BengaliChudails need to be made with liberal doses of black magic
– The Innova carrying unidentified terrorists who were moving towards Bihar are to be immediately rerouted to Kolkata
– Mamata Banerjee aka Mumtaz Begum is to be crowned the New “Bandit Queen of Jungle Raaj”
– Congress, Left and TMC supporters on social media or otherwise need to be encouraged to fight between themselves to pave a clear path for “Bengal mein Kamal” narrative to be peddled easily.
– Don’t talk about China…. I repeat…. Don’t talk about China.
– Trucks carrying free Covid vaccine should be parked just next to Howrah bridge.
These changes will happen without any further warnings and people need to suspend their already suspended logic and believe everything without verifying.
Disclaimer: For those interested, the beard is growing real fast and has reached the right length. Any Bengali tutor who can teach the mannerisms, talk and walk of Rabindranath Tagore needs to report to 7 LoL Kalyan Marg asap, people are mistaking HIM for Asaram