Akhilesh Yadav: “The Budget, by all accounts, is a Document of Despair.” ये बजट नहीं मायूसी का दस्तावेज़ है। Budget 2021 Special…

In Akhilesh Yadav

By Darshan Mondkar, Mumbai

Bholu Bhakt was walking down a street when he happened to see a sign board…

“Best Scheme in the last 100 Years!!
Join Us in Long Term Happiness for Short Term Pains. Anyone who doesn’t like the scheme, will get Rs. 15 lakhs”

A curious Bholu walked into the shop with the sign and came across a tall, strong man behind the counter.

Bholu Bhakt: I would like to know more about your scheme.

Man: The scheme is simple. This is a 5 year plan. You have to join our program. Within 5 years you will be enjoy the benefits of happiness. Incase you don’t like the scheme, you will get 15 lakhs.

Bholu Bhakt: You mean, I don’t have to invest anything and at the end of 5 years, either I am enjoying or I get Pandhara Pandhara lakh?

Man: Yes. That’s the scheme.

Bholu Bhakt: Okay what’s the program?

Man: I can’t tell you that. It’s a trade secret.

Bholu Bhakt: Okay, doesn’t matter. Sounds like a good scheme.

Man: Just sign this form.

Bholu Bhakt: What’s this?

Man: It’s just your consent form for joining our program.

Bholu Bhakt: (signing the consent form) When do we begin?

Man: Now?

Bholu Bhakt: Sure…..

Man: Okay, Take off your clothes and bend down over that table there.

Bholu does as told, thinking about the scheme and how beneficial it is going to be to him.

The Man stands behind Bholu and buggers the crap out of him as Bholu screams, “WTF”

Bholu Bhakt: What the hell is this?

Man: This is our program

Bholu Bhakt: Damn you, I don’t want this program.

Man: Sorry you signed the form. Now you are bound to the contract.

Bholu Bhakt: I didn’t know I was going to be buggered. 😡😡

Man: You should have read the consent document more carefully before you signed it. Now you have to present yourself here every month for the next 5 years and be a part of the program. If you don’t we will use the contract and have you arrested.

Bholu Bhakt went away with a sore butt and shaky legs.

For the next few months Bholu went to the shop as instructed and was buggered by the Man regularly.

The first few months he screamed and shouted, over a period of time the screams dulled to grunts and finally it became a mundane routine.

The 5 years were coming to a close and this was Bholus last visit.

Bholu dropped his pants and waited patiently for the Man to finish his job

Bholu Bhakt: Okay the 5 years are up. You said there will be long term enjoyment for short term pains

Man: That’s correct. If you have noticed, we didn’t have to call you even once in the last 2 years. You havent been screaming either.

Bholu Bhakt: Ummmmmmmmm…..

Man: You have gotten used to it. Trust me, give me another 5 years and you will start enjoying it.

Bholu Bhakt: Bullshit!!! Give me my 15 lakhs.

Man: That was a Jhumla….. I never said I will give you 15 lakhs, I said you will get it…

Bholu Bhakt: From where?

Man: Ask Modi Zee……

Bholu Bhakt: What do I do now?

Man: We have another scheme ….. A new program for 5 years and you will get 30 lakhs

Bholu Bhakt: Wow where do I sign?

Man: Here….. I tell you, this is the best scheme you have ever come across in the last 105 years.

Disclaimer: Such schemes are subject to risks, read the offer document carefully before giving consent to an obvious buggery. 😛

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